Humor: World Wide Real Estate Deals

Humor: World-Wide Real Estate Deals

The recent housing bubble burst sprayed everyone around the world. Every country has experienced a significant decrease in the value of their real estate.

While unfortunate for most people, the result has been the availability of bargained priced properties waiting to be scarfed up by clever investors.

Below are just a few examples of the housing made available most recently.

Abbottabad, Pakistan:

Fixer upper. A few bullet holes, some carpet stains, no cable or phone

available, fenced yard, quiet neighborhood, police protection

nearby. Just move in. No present owner.

Includes used helicopter parts.

West coast of Japan:

A number of properties presently unoccupied, glowing at night.

Recommended to elderly purchasers only, no children in

neighborhood, no people in neighborhood, suggest no guests.

Purchase price includes two radiation suits.

Afganistan:

Several poppy farms. Government assistance available

from Afghanistan and the US. Prospective owners should

have cash ready for required bribes to Taliban, Al Qaeda, and

local tribes.

Waterfront properties:

Many homes and small farms available. Some water damage, mud on

carpeting and floors, dead animals, mold. Cheap, Mississippi

River basin.

Mountain and jungle estates:

Recently vacated by displaced owners, some damage from gunfire,

some cocaine residue, blood and ammunition to be removed.

Contact the Government of Columbia.

Chernobyl:

Quite a few properties at bargain prices. Ideal for older purchasers

without children. Efficient utilities. Light not needed in the

evening hours. Welcome Wagon package which includes a

Geiger counter and two canaries.

Myagi, Japan:

Waterfront properties. Slight moisture problems, ground still a bit

unstable. Row boats, life preservers accompany properties.

More information available from the government of Japan.

Gulf of Mexico:

Many waterfront properties. No fishing or swimming available, but

upon possession, the new owner is automatically eligible for

joining a class action suit against a major oil company.

Joplin, Missouri:

Too soon

.

Mexico-United States Border:

A number of haciendas available very near the border in Mexico.

Many include all furnishings including weapons, ammunition

and unfinished tunnels to the U.S. Federal assistance available

for barbed wire and guard towers. Contact Dept. of Homeland

Security, Criminal Seizures Division.

Lyon, France:

A small hillside cottage outside the city. Quiet, beautiful, in good

repair. The setting is perfect, however you must be prepared to deal with the French.